Race and Attraction, – – The OkCupid Blog
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He says some of the rejections he got were overtly racist. It was like, like, I usually like bears, but no panda bears.
It really hurt my self-esteem. So Jason says he wasn't surprised to see some of the numbers from OKCupid making headlines back in The dating site's blog said Asian men and black women were rated the least attractive compared to other races and genders. Even though the numbers focused on straight users, Jason says he could definitely relate.
It was like an unfulfilled validation.
Asian woman dating black man
Like, yeah, I was right, but it feels like [expletive] that I was right. I also talked to Ari Curtis. She says she feels the same way. She even started a blog about her experience dating as a black woman. Here's a little bit of one of her blog entries. For black women like me, this is life. The data are mere tiny representations of a messy existence.
How Racial Discrimination Plays Out in Online Dating : NPR
And while I'm a big fan of big data, the good stuff begins where the data ends. Her blog is called Least Desirable.
Ari took me to that bar, and she told me what the date told her over drinks. He had recently gone home, and he was like, yeah, my family would never approve of you. Laughter And I was just like, OK laughter. That interaction left Ari feeling confused, really uncomfortable. And, it wasn't a new feeling. She also shared this account of a date with another white man she met on Tinder.
He was like, so we have to bring the hood out of you, bring the ghetto out of you. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? It made me feel like I wasn't enough, that who I am wasn't what he expected and that he wanted me to be somebody else based on my race laughter.
So he wasn't surprised when he read a blog post from OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder in about race and attraction.
'Least Desirable'? How Racial Discrimination Plays Out In Online Dating
Rudder wrote that user data showed that most men on the site rated black women as less attractive than women of other races and ethnicities. Similarly, Asian men fell at the bottom of the preference list for most women.
While the data focused on straight users, Jason says he could relate. After drinks at a Brooklyn bar, one of her more recent OkCupid matches, a white Jewish man, offered this: Other dating experts have pointed to such stereotypes and lack of multiracial representation in the media as part of the likely reason that plenty of online daters have had discouraging experiences based on their race. Melissa Hobley, OkCupid's chief marketing officer, says the site has learned from social scientists about other reasons that people's dating preferences come off as racist, including the fact that they often reflect IRL — in real life — norms.