Why do keep dating emotionally unavailable men

3 Reasons You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners - mindbodygreen

why do keep dating emotionally unavailable men

Whether or not we enter an actual relationship with said people, we keep wanting more from them. But, what many of us don't realize is we are. If dating emotionally unavailable men seems to be a pattern for you, this taught to stop crying and be a man, or encouraged to toughen up by. When you give your all into a relationship or to someone who isn't giving anything back in return, it sucks, but it's also a hard pattern to break.

It is crucially important that you answer this to yourself as honestly as possible. How do you feel about commitment yourself?

why do keep dating emotionally unavailable men

Are you open to commitment? Or do you fear it? Have you been hurt in the past and are afraid of letting anyone get to close for you for fear it could happen again?

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Now this part is not about the guys you are dating. Sometimes a personal fear of commitment can cause you to subconsciously attract other like-minded people.

why do keep dating emotionally unavailable men

Are you turning away good men? Sometimes the men you really want are right under your nosebut you could be turning them away for one reason or another.


If you have any fear of commitment or getting too close yourself, then you could be turned off by the more serious men who really do want commitment, and lean more to the ones that are a little more aloof. These men may seem a little more out of your reach, so you become drawn to them.

Sometimes you may feel more attracted to the men who are a little out of reach than to the ones that are available. This can be your mind playing tricks on you, so be careful.

Create a level playing field There has to be a level playing field in the men you date.

The Epiphany That Made Me Stop Dating Unavailable Men - mindbodygreen

Do you find you are putting in more effort than they are? So many women do, thinking that this is the way to his heart. We think we are "falling in love," but typically we are falling more for the chemical release of dopamine and oxytocin in our body than we are for our partner. Thus, we hang on even after we start to notice the red flags.

All of a sudden, it takes them 6 hours to return a text message. Sometimes, it could take 6 days. We try to make plans, but they can only seem to carve out time when it's convenient for them.

Five Probable Reasons Why We Keep Dating Emotionally Unavailable People.

When we attempt to have the "defining the relationship" talk, they start saying things like "I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship. However, some people make it a pattern, dating only the people who dangle the "love carrot" before immediately pulling it back just out of reach. As I work with clients who are in the struggle, I always point out one of my favorite Wayne Dyer quotes: We attract who we are.

This isn't about making time or whether you tell your partner how much you care. Rather, it's about whether you are truly expressing your needs.

why do keep dating emotionally unavailable men

Are you being vulnerable enough to tell the other person about what you are really looking for? Ninety-nine percent of my clients who date emotionally unavailable people admit that they don't openly communicate their deepest desires out of fear that it will "scare the person off" or come across as "clingy.

why do keep dating emotionally unavailable men

As they planned their weekend, she said her intention was just to "go with the flow and have fun. In fact, they rarely left the bedroom. So after flying home, she was surprised that the guy didn't text her for a week. What she really hoped for was to rekindle a romance and find love, but she was too afraid to state that intention. So she felt rejected when his first text correspondence didn't happen until a week later, claiming how he had been "too busy" to reach out.

Five Probable Reasons Why We Keep Dating Emotionally Unavailable People.

When his next text a few weeks later was trying to make plans to meetup for more sex, she felt used. When we are clear in communicating our needs, we can hold our partner accountable to meet them. More importantly, we can hold ourselves accountable to not settle for less than we want and deserve.