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Since non-monogamous relationships function without the ideas of possession in play, some feel that this means commitment cannot and does not exist. This is not the case. Commitment absolutely can and does exist within non-monogamous relationships. Take the earlier example. My boyfriend was committed to me. I was committed to him. I was also committed to my girlfriend. She was committed to me. She was also committed to her boyfriend. He was committed to her. Conventional relationship ideals may claim this is ludicrous, but think of the structure of a family.
Think of a mother who has more than one child. Does the arrival of baby number two mean that suddenly baby number one is getting tossed aside? So it looks like this thing between us is coming to a close, as your little brother will be arriving in just a few short weeks. I hope we can still be friends. Multiple relationships can exist, all of them committed.
Which brings me to my next myth… Myth 5: This can be, but is not always the case. There are different types of non-monogamy, some where all parties involved are absolutely equal - in terms of love and commitment, that is - some where they are not. The following are some but not all examples of non-monogamous relationships. These two people are committed to each other, and each other alone.
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The terms may vary, but typically it means that while the two can pursue physical thrills outside of the relationship, their loyalty lies with their respective partner alone. Swingers Relationship Very similar to an open relationshipthere is a primary couple and they are loyal to each other alone. This can even be considered a type of open relationship, but it is characterized by the couple exploring pursuits outside their relationship together, if not always simultaneously. Going to a swingers party together, potentially finding an activity to participate in together, both parties participating in different activities, or one or both not necessarily partaking at all.
Hierarchal Polyamorous Relationship Unlike the open relationship, a polyamorous relationship allows for multiple relationships multiple loves, if you will at the same time.
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Other relationships, while they may indeed be loving, will not take precedence over the primary relationship. Non-Hierarchal Polyamorous Relationship Here there are multiple relationships but without hierarchy. The relationships may intermingle, they may not.
Group relationships may form, they may not. And they may as well in hierarchal poly, I might add. There is no first tier, second tier, third tier.
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All things being equal is the goal. Egalitarian Polyamory Relationship Anarchy This form of non-monogamy is exactly what it sounds like. A sort of amorous chaos. It allows all relationships with others to be what they are, when they are, whatever they are, without operating within tiers of importance, defined parameters or preset expectations. The ultimate exercise in relationship freedom, it is living and loving without limits, and letting the relationship chips fall where they may.
The important thing to understand is that committed non-monogamy is not necessarily just a version of monogamy with some casual sex thrown in here and there.
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Can the two exist together? First, non-monogamy is not kink in and of itself.
But when people think of non-monogamy, their minds go to one place - fast. If monogamy is categorized by not having sex with everyone, then non-monogamy must be about having sex with everyone, right?
It must be about threesomes, and foursomes, and group sex, and orgies, and swingers parties with fire breathing, leather clad jugglers in nipple clamps swinging from the chandeliers.
The reality is often far more tame. It does not mean that one is necessarily with multiple partners simultaneously. It does not mean that one is necessarily having indiscriminate sex. And it does not mean that one is, while having indiscriminate sex with multiple partners simultaneously, also strapped to the bed with leather cuffs in nipple clamps and a crystal butt plug. Can one enjoy a non-monogamous relationship and a crystal butt plug at the same time? FullofDesire is for swinger lifestyle couples and women only.
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